A Life Without You - Never
by Jane Heartilly
Summary: Bringing peace back to the world of Thedas did not come without a price for Shayenna Trevelyan. Burdened by her decision and the repercussions, she and Cullen have to put everything on hold once more as they try to find a cure for what ails the Inquisitor. Time is slowly but surely ticking away their hopes and dreams of a future in each other's arms. Chapter 3 up!
1. Allow me this

**A Life Without You... Never**

_A/N Hello again readers of ! It has been a very long time since I last wrote fanfiction, but I finished Dragon Age Inquisition last week and have positively fallen in love with the game (And Cullen). After having spent my spare time on making a movie, a romance compilation and a music video out of the cut scenes (I'll add the links in my profile), I have now decided to go back to my original passion; writing! So here goes…. Let me know what you guys think _

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Synopsis: Bringing peace back to the world of Thedas did not come without a price for Shayenna Trevelyan. Burdened by her decision and the repercussions, she and Cullen have to put everything on hold once more as they try to find a cure for what ails the Inquisitor. Time slowly but surely ticking away their hopes and dreams of a future in each other's arms.

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**Chapter 1: Allow me this**

_***~*~*~ Cullen ~*~*~***_

"_What if I can't… Cullen, if I don't…"_

"_Maker, no. "Whatever happens, you will come back"_

"_I certainly hope so"_

"_The thought of losing you… I can't"_

He had had her safe and sound in his arms only an hour ago, trying to wave away her concerns of failure. Words had seemed to fall short of the whirl of emotions that surged through him at the time. There was so much he still wanted to tell her, to let her know what she meant to him, but now it was too late and he knew it. The moment the mark on her left hand started sparkling with energy and the whole war room was shaded in a green hue he knew the moment he had been dreading for months had arrived.

"Corypheus"

The name fell from her lips as if it were bile, a foul name that belonged to a foul and dark creature, to have it spoil her soft and tender lips made him cringe inside. That the Maker had chosen her as His champion to save Thedas was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand no other person could care for every living soul in Thedas as much as she did. It spurred her conviction of the cause – it is what made her the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste. And on the other hand it was because of her and who she was that he saw her title, her blessing and gift as a curse. Her kind heart rallied her to everyone's cause, great or small. She had been thrown to the wolves every day since she had stepped from the Fade, had witnessed so many horrors and still she pushed onwards, ever onwards… And now straight into the heart of danger, to the being that had now openly challenged Shayenna to come and stop him from swallowing the world with the Breach he had re-opened.

"_When the time comes, you will be thrown into his path again. Andraste preserve me, I must send you to him."_

He opened his mouth to tell her not to go, to stay at his side and be safe, but he had known all along this moment would come. He knew she was the only one who could stop him; it had to be her… Mind and heart warred as to which words they would let fall from his lips as he vaguely heard Leliana and Josephine question Corypheus' intentions beside him. He just held her bright blue eyes in his gaze, searching for a glimpse of his Shayenna beyond the Inquisitor's mask. He noticed only a flicker of fear among the otherwise determined pools of blue.

Another thing he admired and feared so about her; she would not hesitate to give her life for the people she loved and for the greater good. Admirable and righteous as it was, he wished only she would not continually tumble from one situation to the next where such sacrifices were a very real option.

"Inquisitor," His mind had won; the formal Commander Cullen Rutherford taking control of his words, "we have no forces to send with you – we must wait for them to return from the Arbor Wilds."

It would not dissuade her – he knew, but he had to try. Even if there was just the slightest chance she might not rush headlong into battle with that… _Corypheus_, he had to try. The response she gave was as expected however, dutiful and honorable as always, she would not hide from her responsibilities as Inquisitor.

"I must go now, before it is too late"

The feelings of dread started spreading through his chest again; he was all too aware of the fact she may never make it back. He noticed her eyes lingering on him for a moment before she turned and left the war room, leaving all three of them in the same painful awareness that all they had been working for, all _she_ had been working for was now to come to a climax. It was to be all or nothing now.

The forces they had build, the alliance they had made and the influence of the Inquisition had all proven useful in the Arbor Wilds, when they had successfully thwarted Corypheus from seizing his prizes in the Temple of Mythal. But Corypheus had left them without an army on the brink of the final battle, most of the forces still lingered in the Arbor Wilds, fighting the remnants of the red templars. He intended this to be a battle between him and her, a final act of desperation to get what he wanted all along, even without all the aid they had denied him at every turn.

Cullen had faith in the Inquisition, in her… but the creature was monstrous, a would-be God, a being with powers and knowledge from the dawn of time and it made him fear for her.

"She will return" Leliana spoke softly to herself before she lifted her clasped hands to her forehead, reciting a prayer,

"And she will know no fear of death, for the Maker shall be her beacon and her shield, her foundation and her sword."

"The others will join her for certain, she will not be alone" Josephine said consolidating as she turned to Cullen and put a hand on his upper arm. It was as if she had been reading his mind.

It shook the Commander from his thoughtful stupor, "No, she won't be." He responded to Josephine's comment before following in Shayenna's footsteps out the door. He marched past Josephine's office straight into the main hall where he met up with Rylen, his second in command.

"Corypheus has played his final card. Gather what good men we have left to aid the Inquisitor and her company as they ride to the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes."

"But what if we were to be attacked at Skyhold Commander, we are thin on men as it stands." Cullen had always appreciated his candor, it's what made Rylen best qualified to be his second in command. In the times Cullen was unable to perform his duties or was away from Skyhold, he could always rest assured they were in capable hands with him.

He could see Shayenna standing in the doorway to Skyhold's keep talking to Cassandra, Varric and Bull while working on her battle attire. Cassandra was nodding vigorously at whatever Shayenna was saying while Bull and Varric just quietly regarded her. She was pointing in various directions giving all three different commands so they could be ready to march as quickly as possible, he had no doubt. Though it took effort, he tore his gaze away from her and turned back to Rylen.

"If the Inquisitor fails to reach and defeat Corypheus, it will make no difference. Thedas is in her hands now; all we can do is give her the best chance she's got. Keep a few of the newest recruits here to defend Skyhold, it will have to do."

"Yes Commander, it will be done. They will be ready to depart with the Inquisitor." He struck his fist to his heart in salute while he bowed his head to Cullen and turned to leave, before he turned back hesitantly.

"Ser," his tone had softened and he seemed to search for the right words, "She is a capable woman, if anyone can do it and return to us, it would be her. Andraste walks at her side." Without waiting for a response he hurried to his task, walking the length of the main hall of Skyhold. He stopped briefly at Shayenna's side, said something that brought a small smile to her face, bowed and hurried down the stone steps.

She stood in the large doorway by herself, staring at the green swirl of doom that once again had taken place in the sky. Bull, Cassandra and Varric had gone their separate ways, most likely to do exactly as she had commanded them to. They were the only two souls in the main hall, which would have probably been the very first time since they arrived at Skyhold.

Usually it was a place they tried to avoid; a much too large amount of noble's ready to make acquaintance with the famed Inquisitor normally held up residence here. They would always meet on the battlements, where the wind would carry their words away without nosy ears picking up on them and high up on the walls, where peeking eyes could not see them. Now it was more likely the nobility was on the battlements to behold the hole in the sky and they were here.

Cullen rolled his eyes at the thought, he had never had any patience for the nobility of Thedas with their fleeting interests and superficial conversations. They would stand there now, feigning fear dramatically in their words while pointing excitedly at the hole in the sky. He wondered often how Josephine and Shayenna could suffer such dim-witted demanding people with a smile on their faces all the time. They did not live in the same world he did, a world where his men would suffer and bleed on their behalves, where _she_ had suffered and bled for all of them. And now they stood on the brink of destruction, where she had to fight a would-be God... he wondered if they could even touch the ground long enough to grasp the concept of it all.

_Whatever happens, you will come back_

He repeated it over and over in his head, as if somehow willing it to be the truth.

He closed distance on her slowly, his heart pounding loudly to try and escape the claws of dread that held it. Words fell short once again, how was he supposed to say goodbye to her now, how was he to let her go and face that monster? He didn't even want to say goodbye, didn't need to… she was coming back! Right?

"I know you worry for me" She hadn't turned around, but she knew he was there.

"How can I not, you…" his voice trailed off.

"We both knew this day would come" she sighed, "it always feels too soon doesn't it, feels like we left things unsaid and undone"

"There is so much more to say and to do, but we will have time to do so." He wished his voice didn't sound as insecure as he spoke the words. His usual strong and commanding voice would have been better, but the whole situation had left him with a voice wrecked with emotions. It made him feel weak, helpless to stop the current of events taking place, so he took charge.

"I'm coming with you, I'll make sure you are able to close the Breach and defeat Corypheus"

She turned around at the announcement, "You're leaving your place Commander? What of all the people here? If Rylen and the remaining men are coming, you would be their last line of defense."

"My place is at your side" he responded firmly.

She smiled sadly before she wrapped her hands around him, intertwining her fingers lightly in the back of his neck and rested her forehead against his. Cullen was half a head taller as her, so she had to reach on her toes, but they had done it so many times now the movements were those of habit.

"I love you, you know that right?" she whispered tenderly to him.

"I love you too"

He could feel her hesitating as she held her breath for a while. "I would feel saver with you by my side, but if Corypheus harms you or holds you hostage against the fate of the world, I…. I would not be able to focus on what needs to be done…" she whispered softly.

"You would do what needed to be done; you'd do the right thing and save the people of Thedas. You would do your duty as Inquisitor."

She released her grip on his neck and took a step back, an incredulous look on her face as if he had just accused her of doing something downright awful. "You think I would just toss your life away, you think I could just do that and do the _right_ thing?!"

Calmly he took a step forward before carefully putting his hands on her shoulders, "Just? Probably not… But if it was the other way around, would you tell me any different? I know if it comes down to it you would give your life for the people of Thedas. You wouldn't hesitate to do the right thing." …_and I'd be alone in an empty world._

"I… but…" She struggled for words; she knew in her heart he was right as she resigned herself into his embrace, "it's not the same" she whispered in defeat.

Leaning his cheek down on the top of her head he hugged her tightly. "Allow me this, my lady - allow me to fight beside you at the final confrontation. Do not resign me to an agonizing wait at Skyhold. Allow me to watch your back and ensure you your best chance at victory. And when Corypheus falls and you close the Breach once and for all, allow me to take your hand and lead you safely back home." He paused for a moment, "And _if_ you… _if_ we are all to die… allow my last sight in this world to be of you."

She said nothing; she just remained in his embrace while nuzzling against the red and black fur that was ever present around his neck and shoulders, considering his words. After a few moments she took a step back to look up at him, their hands still holding. Cullen let her slip from his embrace without protest, but instantly missed her warmth and the smell of her so close against him. When he looked her in the eyes and saw them glistening with tears, he had to fight the urge to instantly lock her into his embrace again and soothe her pains away.

"We'll both make it back right? We'll _all_ make it back safely… There is so much more I want out of life, so much more I want to experience with you."

The words rang with a sadness and purity that broke his heart. _After all she has been through, Maker she deserves some happiness._ He wasn't sure if he thought it as a statement or a silent prayer, but he knew it to be true as he pulled her back into a tight embrace she eagerly fell in to. She was a strong woman, a formidable one of heart and mind. She wore her Inquisitor mask well to the public, Josephine and Vivienne had taught her well. But right here, in his arms, she was just Shayenna - a woman who loved and feared for those she cared for like anyone else.

"Maker willing, there will be a whole life waiting for us when this is all over. He would not bring us together, only to tear us apart at the end of it all."

"I hope you are right" her near inaudible voice whispered as she clung to him tight.

Cullen was a man of faith, he trusted in the Maker and Andraste and he knew they would not put anything on anyone's path that they could not handle with good judgment and the strength they held in their hearts. Everyone has the tools to overcome their trials - he believed in that and it had been something that had pulled him through many ordeals. He had to believe she was meant to make it out of this, that they would have a life together, to believe anything else… he couldn't.


	2. United we stand

_A/N I know it's all starting in the thick of it at the end of the game and it's all very emotional and tender, but I had to start somewhere to lead into my own story. Onwards, still "in" the game, bits that I found to be missing in between the game's cut scenes. Hope you enjoy it, R&amp;R please :)_

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**Chapter 2 - United we stand**

_***~*~*~ Shayenna ~*~*~***_

How could she deny him now, after his earnest display of affections? How could she tell him 'no' when the things he wanted were the exact same she desired. All she wanted was him - a life with him without all the peril that worked so hard to drive them apart.

His words had wounded her, she had been so convicted in her righteousness she had not realized what fears she must have placed in his heart with it. She still wasn't sure about it all, but she knew it wasn't fair to deny him his request.

_Then again, nothing about this is fair..._

He was right, if it came down to her or the people of Thedas, she would choose them and _him_ and she knew he would do the same thing. Right here, warm in his embrace, she hated being the Inquisitor and she hated he was Commander Rutherford. It put them in danger too often, titles of such importance in these times left so little room for either of them to be themselves, to be together.

And yet it was also what she loved about him, it still made her chest flutter when she saw him commanding his men with such confidence. To them he was their stalwart commander, intrepid in the face of danger, leading them to undoubted victory. And she was their dauntless Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste who had been sent by the Maker to right every wrong Corypheus had done.

But to her, Cullen was the man she loved - beneath the Commander was a sensitive man that cared for those he loved with a passion, a man that carried deep wounds of the battles and fears he had faced. And she was the only one allowed to see them, to care for them, it made her feel special in a way nothing else could. not even being the Herald of Andraste and the savior of all of Thedas, it didn't even come close...

It felt like too little time, but when she heard heavy footsteps coming closer, she knew it was time for both of them to assume their roles again. To put her mask back on and become Inquisitor Trevelyan once more. As if thinking the same thing Cullen let his embrace around her weaken, so she could step out of it.

His warm hazel eyes held her gaze for one last moment, "Together?"

She nodded her approval, which brought a smile to his face. She felt how he squeezed her hand one last time before he let go. She saw him straighten up, draw one gloved hand through his golden hair before resting both of them on the pommel of his sword. There he was once more; Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford. She couldn't help but admire him for just a little bit longer. The way he stood there he just inspired courage, no wonder the men revered him so.

_Maker keep him safe for me..._

They turned to the stone steps together and from below saw their companions coming towards them. When they all reached the top of the stairs Cassandra regarded her formally, "Inquisitor, we are at your command."

A brave look was displayed across all their faces, each and every one of them ready to face Corypheus and do whatever they could for her and the Inquisition. It had always been as such, but to see them all as a group stand so bravely in front of her made her proud. From behind her she heard Josephine and Leliana join them as well. She smiled kindly at her two friends - she had come to rely on them not only for the Inquisition, but also as her close friends. In fact, that went for almost all of them. She eyed all of them one more time, her heart swelling in pride at how far they had all come together.

She put a hand on Cassandra's shoulder, "Thank you for gathering everyone up."

"My friends," she started, making sure to make eye contact with each and every one of them briefly.

"We created the Inquisition from nothing - a handful of soldiers dedicated to a cause greater as themselves" her eyes lingered on Cassandra, Josephine and Leliana, sharing a small smile with them.

"One by one you all joined this cause, each and every one of you laying your life down for the people of Thedas and the greater good. You have all stood by my side personally in great adversity, guided me through and helped me make the Inquisition succeed. It would not have without any of you. All of you contributed in your own way and I would not stand here today if it wasn't for each and every one of you.

What I wanted to say... I am proud of you all, thankful in a way I cannot express in words. You are not only my companions, my council, you are my dear friends."

She paused for only a moment, trying not to let herself get swept away by the emotions inside her. She had to keep at least part of herself masked, she had to keep her composure.

"And as my friends, I will not _command_ you to follow me in this final battle. Corypheus calls for me to stop him and I will do so, but I cannot in good conscious ask of you to put your lives at risk."

Varric stepped forward with a smirk on his face, "Shit Inquisitor, you want us all sappy and emotional before we march to Corypheus? The shit you have been through... no one is going to believe me when I tell the story. If I don't go and see how it all ends now, how am I even going to believe it myself! I have no choice but to follow you and see this all through, would not want my stories not to be credible now do we!" He winked at her.

Solas nodded, "You have brought us this far Inquisitor, we will see it through."

"We have not worked this hard to give up now, this is not just your battle Inquisitor, it is all of ours. We will see it through together." Cassandra agreed, giving her a firm nod.

"You have given us a purpose more noble than anything I could have ever hoped for in this lifetime. We are saving the world after all, it would not do to falter on the finish line. Like your men, Inquisitor, I would follow you anywhere and gladly lay my life down if it meant our success." Blackwall bowed down deeply, sincerity in his voice.

"You are an inspiration to us all my dear, an example for all of Thedas." Vivienne chimed in.

"Well well, aren't we all being a touch dramatic" Dorian spoke with expressive hand gestures. "I have no intention of dying today, nor do I feel like attending any funerals any time soon. My dear, we will make it through this with our skin and wits intact. Naturally I will join you, wouldn't want the stories to grow dull without your ever dashing _Tevinter_ ally by your side" he winked at her with a broad smirk across his face.

"The Chargers and I stand ready Boss, wouldn't miss a good fight like this one. That Corypheus needs a good pounding to put him back in his place. Contract or no, Tal-Vashoth or no, this Qunari and his men will follow you to the end!" Bull raised his axe high into the air as he roared; Krem and the others following suit, "To the end!"

"Just tell me when to stick'm full of arrows Shay" Sera commented while cheering with the Chargers.

Wide smiles spread across most faces as the Charges roared "to the end" in unity a couple times more. She could visibly see the morale rising and she couldn't help but grin widely herself. Shayenna could see Cole standing in the back, bewildered at the camaraderie and loyalty that clearly rang in everyone's voices, "I will come too" he said in her head with a smile of wonder on his face as he caught her gaze.

Cullen turned to her smiling, "You do inspire loyalty in your followers my lady, together we will surely defeat Corypheus."

She couldn't help but notice how he lay emphasis on the word together. Even though all of their close companions knew of their relationship - and for that matter near all the residents and troops in Skyhold with the gossiping that went around - they always remained formal when they had an audience. He was, after all, the Inquisition's Commander - _her_ Commander. If they made it out of this predicament alive and well, perhaps all of Thedas would be allowed to know and see.

"You are joining us then Commander?" Cassandra asked; one eyebrow cocked up. When Cullen nodded curtly she took a step closer and with a softer tone asked: "You are sure you're up for this?"

"I fought at the front lines at the temple of Mythal Cassandra, I feel fine... truthfully"

"And I had my doubts then too, but if you are sure and the Inquisitor has given her consent, who am I to argue" Cassandra straightened and extended her hand to Cullen, "It will be good to have you watching my back once more Commander."

She saw Cullen smile before shaking Cassandra's hand, "Fighting side by side just like in the beginning, how befitting."

It occurred to Shayenna she had never actually seen Cullen and Cassandra fight side by side. She had been told they had been when she had stepped from the rift on that fateful day. It was Cullen who had carried her back to Haven, where Cassandra had forced him to put her in the dungeons.

When the Inquisition was just the few of them she had heard of the stories of them being a force of nature on the battlefield, an inspiration to everyone around them. The Lion and the Seeker of the Inquisition - she had heard the men talk about it. They would fight in such unison no foe ever came even close to wounding either of them, swords and shields at each other's back, effortlessly whirling across the battlefield felling each and every foe just the two of them.

Naturally all such stories had been embellished by the men. As Cullen would tell her it was merely two well trained veterans of battle with the same fighting style watching each other's backs. _'Merely_' she recalled chuckling at the word. She had seen Cullen fight and there was nothing 'merely' about it; the strength he wielded behind his blade and shield was admirable. The same went for Cassandra, she believed "force of nature" was applicable to either one of them separately, let alone together.

Shayenna remembered feeling very jealous when she heard the stories, she had come to have a thing for the stalwart Commander and the thought of him being so in unison with another woman when she was so desperately wanting his attention was something she couldn't bear. Now things were different, she knew him now and she knew with what eyes he looked at her and the rest of the world. Eyes that softened and opened doors to his heart only for her...

"The men are ready Commander! Everyone's horses are saddled and ready for departure, including Lady Inquisitor's hart and your black destrier!" Rylen shouted from the courtyard, saluting Cullen after he had acknowledged he had heard him with a nod.

Everyone descended the stairs, taking one last hard look at Skyhold keep before going to face what would arguably become the most difficult enemy they had ever faced. It had been their home for near 9 months now and Shayenna loved it here; she had made so many memories here. Skyhold was home to her, more than anywhere else had ever been.

_May it be home to many more of our memories._

Before they departed Cullen gave some last instructions to the new recruits left to defend Skyhold under Rylen's command. Rylen had wanted to come along and help where he could, but had submitted when Cullen explained he needed someone experienced at the home front to protect the people of Skyhold. They wouldn't want to return to a burned down keep, after all.

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They arrived in the valley to find it infested with demons. The Breach loomed over them, larger as it had ever been and expanding by the minute. It had caused a large amount of small rifts to have opened up in the vicinity, demons pushing their way through into the real world one by one.

From a distance it looked like utter chaos, but as they rode closer as fast as their mounts could carry them, Shayenna found that some of the Inquisition's men had entrenched themselves strategically - holding off the demons successfully for now.

She looked around and recognized the area, a large frozen over river that had once held two houses at its shore. Now the only remnants of their existence was a pile of rubble, ash and charred wood.

"Right back where we started, aren't we Inquisitor" Varric commented as they rode up to the men.

"Commander! Ser are we glad to see you" A woman strode up to him as Cullen dismounted. He tied the reigns of his horse to the branches of a nearby tree as she gave him the report of how the battle had been going so far.

Shayenna could see they had only been a handful of soldiers, but they had done an extraordinary job keeping themselves safe and the passage clear of the demons that tried to come through. She overheard Cullen praise them for a job well done before he turned back, addressing everyone.

"Men! The battlefield before us is riddled with demons of various sorts, most of them are of the weaker sort, but their numbers are large and may easily overwhelm us. Scouts report that the demons mainly roam the outskirts of the temple. At the heart of it: Corypheus, awaiting the Inquisitor's arrival while drawing more power from the Breach. From here on we can no longer continue on horseback."

He took a pause while everyone dismounted and a few men came to lead the horses away. His eyes lingered on her before he continued. One of his hands resting in its familiar spot on the pommel of his sword while the other held his helm loosely at his side he cleared his throat to regain everyone's attention.

"In less than an hour our final battle against Corypheus will begin. The Inquisitor will either close the Breach once and for all, or it will continue to grow and end the world as we know it. This creature has stepped into our world, threatening to take everything we know and love from us. Whether we are mages, templars, mercenaries, nobility or simple peasant folk, it makes no difference to him. Whether we hail from Ferelden, Orlais, the Free Marches, Tevinter or far beyond that - Corypheus will not treat you any different. Human, dwarf, elf or even Qunari - we can't be consumed by our differences anymore! The Inquisition has united us under one banner and today we fight for what is ours - our lives, our homes, our families, our loved ones!" His gaze locked with Shayenna's as he spoke the last words - strong and determined eyes, yet full of love for her. She couldn't help it when she felt her chest flutter in response.

His voice turned to an inspiring roar, "United we stand as **the Inquisition** and thwarted Corypheus at every turn - **We** defended Redcliffe's mages from him and stopped him from abusing time itself!"

"**We** took from him his demon army!"

"**We** prevented him from creating more chaos in Orlais, ending the civil war and uniting them in **our cause** instead!"

"**We** stopped him from getting his claws on more power at the temple of Mythal and defeated his red templar forces!"

"He has no additional power, no men, he stands alone! Corypheus has already been defeated, but he is too arrogant to acknowledge this! And that will be his undoing!"

Shayenna could hear some of the men roar their agreement with their Commander around her. All eyes were locked on Cullen and she could feel the morale rise. Even the men and women who had held off the demons for a few hours and were visible exhausted when they arrived now seemed to have regained their spirits. It made her so proud to be the woman that deserved a place at his side. She saw Cullen turn, pointing towards the Breach above them.

"What you see before you is but the last desperate attempt of a darkspawn magister trying to cloak the world in darkness. And though we are few in number, united we stand as one - as a force not even a would-be-God can reckon with! We carry the flame of the Inquisition in our hearts and with it we shall light a path for the Herald of Andraste herself to end this madness once and for all!"

Cheers broke loose from the group around her as they raised their weapons to the sky, mirroring their Commander. _And he says I'm the inspiring one, ha..._

She couldn't help but me mesmerized at how he had rallied the morale of his troops, how intoxicating it was to behold him in his element. When forced on display before the nobles he would always be polite and courteous, but words were never his strong suit and look at him now...

She must have been staring, completely wrapped up in her own world, because she did not notice Dorian creeping up on her until he elbowed her softly in the ribs. "Nice speech that" he said while nodding and pushing out his lower lip. "He even gave me an honorary mention, I feel so special."

The following moments were more a blur as anything else. The men formed up exactly as Cullen instructed them; they were to free a way ahead far enough so it was safe for the eleven of them to traverse the mountain road to the heart of the temple. Bull ordered the Chargers to take the front lines at the bridge and give everyone as much time as they could before retreating to the bottleneck. Cullen was intent on losing as little men today as possible. Once they were clear and able to go through the old mines they could get to Corypheus without too much opposition, it was up to them to deal the final blow and defend Shayenna long enough for her to close the Breach.

Cassandra and Cullen took the lead while Bull and Blackwall defended their group from the rear as they moved as a unison across the battlefield. Swords and axes slashed around her at the demons that came close while arrows and various destructive magic rained down upon the wraiths that threw spirit bolts from a distance. She held a flank with her spirit blade at the ready, while Vivienne held the other in the same fashion. They may be mages, but they had learned the ancient powers of the Knight Enchanters and were as much a threat in melee as they were at ranged. Occasionally she saw Cole appear in a wisp of smoke behind a demon, making quick work of it with his daggers before disappearing again until he found a new unaware target.

Together they cleaved a way through the battlefield without too much trouble. She had fought with each and every one of them before, but never had she had the privilege of being part of the whole group. All of them experienced in battle it seemed to go almost effortlessly, especially with Cullen and Cassandra at the head of the group. They had been right, the Lion and the Seeker were a force to behold the way they fought together.

Everything went according as planned without too much casualties from what she could tell. The Chargers took up position on the front lines once they had broken off the road to the mountain path once more. Krem had ensured them no demon would break through to follow them. Bull made him promise to retreat as soon as it was necessary as Cullen had instructed, but Krem had waved his concerns away.

"Don't worry for us Chief, go kick some Magister ass and bring yourselves back safely. We will hold these demons at bay for as long as we can! If nothing else Dalish can freeze shut that passage over there to buy you more time"

"I'm not a mage!" she could hear Dalish complain in the distance.

The mines and the path beyond only held few demons as it had done before and the group of eleven cut through them as a hot knife through butter. She could see the ruins in the distance now, it made her heart beat faster by the minute as they closed distance quickly. It didn't take long before she made out the magister's large shape against the ruins. This was it, she had to come through now for the Inquisition, the men had cleared her a way to Corypheus and it was up to her to see his defeat. If she wanted anything more out of life, she could not falter now. The fate of the world lay on her shoulders.


	3. Ever onwards

_A/N I know the story lifts off a little slow, but I wanted to ease into it a bit with the ending of the game. Onto some battlescenes! Not my strong suit, but I hope you'll enjoy :)_

* * *

**Chapter 3 - Ever onwards**

_***~*~*~ Cullen ~*~*~***_

They were closing on the ruins faster as he had expected; he knew the scouts had informed them there was less resistance near the temple, but there had been truly little opposition on the mountain path. It had been easy this last stretch.

_Too easy, Corypheus must have a trick up his sleeve..._

The air was vibrating with magical energy all around him, red lyrium growing out of the ground in abundance, giving the area an eerie red glow. The whole scene made him feel uneasy and the doom that awaited them ahead even more so.

Scout Harding suddenly popped out as if from nowhere, falling in with their stride as they continued to rush forward. "Inquisitor! Corypheus awaits you only shortly ahead, he's waiting for you..."

They way she spoke the words, dread dripped from them and it did nothing to stem the feeling that had now seemed to have taken up permanent residence in his chest._ Now is not the time to be fearful - focus on being her protector, her shield, her blade and she will succeed and return safely _he chided himself.

Shayenna ordered Harding to retreat - to take whatever men remained in the area and return them safely to the others. If the Chargers were still standing strong the way was safe enough for them to make it. The dwarf bowed and instantly started obeying her orders.

And there he stood, the creature that meant to take Shayenna from him, that meant to lay waste to the Inquisition and the whole of Thedas with it - Corypheus. He was towering over two of the Inquisition's scouts he had managed to uncover. Cullen looked at Cassandra and saw her give him a brief nod to confirm his thoughts. They hastened their steps together, trying to get to the men as quickly as they could.

"Tell me, where is your Maker now. Call Him. Call down His wroth up on me.

You cannot, for He does not exist. I am Corypheus, I shall deliver you from this lie in which you linger. Bow before your new God and be spared."

Defiantly the men held their ground even though they knew they stood no chance against Corypheus' might. "Never!"

_Foolish, but admirable. Hold on just a little longer..._

"As you wish" Corypheus spoke with distaste, blasting the men backwards while opening a few small tears in the veil that quickly revealed some demons materializing on this plane. As if commanded they went straight to the two helpless men.

_Just a little..._

He crashed into one of the terrors that had knocked one of the men down to the ground with his shoulder and sent it staggering on its long legs. _... longer._

He did not waste a second of the opportunity as it tried to regain itself after the surprising blow it had suffered. Still using the momentum of his run he whirled around and drove his blade deep into the lean body, piercing it through completely. Beside him Cassandra had managed to dispatch of the other demon as well just before it had been ready to finish off one of the scouts. With a triumphant smirk on his face he drew back his blade from the monstrosity, kicking the body to the floor with a strong kick from his boot. Vigilantly he took up stance at Shayenna's side as she walked forward - staff firmly in her hand, his blade and shield at the ready.

"I knew you would come" Corypheus' deep voice echoed through the ruins. Arrogant as ever he made a mocking bow to her. He did not seem to fear her - or for that matter any of them - in the least.

"It ends here Corypheus" Shayenna yelled at him, strength and courage ringing loudly in her voice.

"And so it shall"

As the ancient magister spoke the words his hands started to glow with a sparkling red energy that spelled nothing but ominous to Cullen. Within seconds Corypheus had leveled the playing field in his favor. As he raised his hands to the sky Cullen felt the ground shake beneath his boots. He saw the trees to his side move downwards as the ruins around them started raising up into the sky.

The ground shook so violently it was hard to keep his footing. Shayenna, Dorian and Blackwall were a few steps in front of him, managing to stabilize themselves on each other.

As he tried to balance himself out on the plateau he started to feel the stones beneath his feet crumble and shift. "Shayenna!" he called out to her as the stones gave way to his weight and he felt his body fall down. He vaguely heard her cry out his name from above him as he crashed down hard on the ground below. He had fallen quite a distance down and landing flat on his back had driven the air from his lungs. The whole world blurred and darkened for a few moments before returning to him. Once it did he saw Cassandra hovering over him, extending her hand.

"Are you alright Commander?" she simply asked as she pulled Cullen back on his feet.

He groaned and rubbed his neck with his left hand as he tried to will the dizzy feeling in his head away. "I'll be fine. Shayenna however..." he turned his gaze to the floating ruins high up in the sky, "Maker watch over her."

"I failed her, failed to be her shield, her sword, her light in the darkness. Now she is up there with Dorian and Blackwall alone, the three of them against that evil..."

"You did not fail her, we got her this far. Cole managed to slip up as well, they are a formidable team together Cullen - She will persevere, she will triumph" He had not noticed he had been thinking... _despairing_ out loud. Cassandra looked at him but even in her stern eyes he could see some uncertainty.

His doubt must have been written all over his face. "She will" Cassandra repeated, speaking hopeful as she turned to the ruins in the sky.

Suddenly loud roars erupted from above and before them they saw Corypheus' dragon caught up in a struggle with the yellow dragon he realized must be the guardian Shayenna had mastered at Mythal's shrine. A sigh of relief escaped his lips, _at least that worked out the way it was supposed to, perhaps the four of them against Corypheus alone they have a chance to win._

He didn't have long to contemplate on what fate would befall the woman he loved so far out of his reach, for from the corner of his eye he spotted the ominous green glow that announced the arrival of a demon only seconds before it jumped at Cassandra. With his shield-arm he pushed her out of the way as he dove forward at the misshapen creature. He rolled to the ground to land below the demon, it hovering above him mid-jump he used the momentum to slice it through completely with his blade. With a loud thump it fell lifeless to the floor before seeping away into the ground.

Cassandra turned around in a whirl, surprised by the sudden shove he had given her. When she came to the realization he had just saved her from an attack she extended her hand to him once more with a thankful smile. "As I mentioned before Commander, it is good to have you watch my back once again."

As Cullen regained his footing he realized Corypheus' trap had been very thorough. While the temple was devoid of the bulk of the waves of demons before, now they started to pour from various tears like a demonic waterfall.

Ear-deafening screeches and horrifying cries drowned out the roaring from the dragons high above them as they quickly started swarming across the crater that once held the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

Cullen gave Cassandra a curt nod as he bent his knees somewhat and entered his battle stance. She followed suit, eyes warily on the demons in front of them. They were quickly joined by the others.

_Maker, my enemies are abundant.  
Many are those who rise up against me.  
But my faith sustains me; I shall not fear the legion,  
Should they set themselves against me._

"Seems Corypheus saved some of the party for us!" Bull roared as he joined their ranks, "Let's dance" he growled menacingly.

The words had barely fallen from his lips as he charged forward at the head of the now small demon army. Cassandra and Cullen fell in beside him, sword and shield ready to block and slash at whatever would come near them.

With a loud battle roar Bull charged into a small group of shades, his giant double-bladed axe cutting through them with such force it send some flying backwards. The Qunari had been wary around demons before, but after his journey through the fade at Shayenna's side something had changed. Cullen had heard of some bizarre story Shayenna had told him of beating the fear out of Iron Bull afterwards - literally. He had not believed her when she told it, but she insisted it had been true and Cassandra had confirmed it. Whatever happened, it seemed to have worked for him - fear seemed to be the last emotion that had taken hold of the rampaging Qunari right now.

Some of the demons had started to encircle them, but Vivienne, Solas, Sera and Varric were taking out their fair share behind them. Magic sizzled from Solas' fingers as he created a small opening in the veil that seemed to suck a group of advancing demons to its core. His rogue companions didn't waste time to take advantage of the opportunity. Sera grabbed hold of a flask with some vile green dust inside it and threw it at the clumped group. When it broke, the dust quickly rose up from the ground and created a toxic cloud that seemed to melt the demons skins away - agonizing screeches rising from the cloud. When Varric then launched a powerful shot in the heart of the group he could hear it exploding behind him, leaving the demons to slump to the ground and disappear into it.

The air around him was reverberating with a familiarity that tucked at his worrying heart. Vivienne stood her ground and gracefully danced around a fire demon while slashing away at him with her spirit blade. Shayenna danced the same steps as Vivienne, though the Imperial Court's Enchanter's years of practice at the art had given her a poise that Shayenna had not yet been able to match. With a single elegant motion of her left hand in between the movements he saw how the ground below the monster became frosted, slowly climbing its way up the demon. It brought the thing to a complete standstill, frozen to it's very core despite the fiery existence it had assumed when entering this world. Cullen didn't hesitate and drove his blade through, shattering the demon into small chunks of ice.

"Thank you dear" Vivienne commented calmly as she turned to continue her lethal dance with a new partner.

They were a formidable group together and though they were hard-pressed, everyone seemed to be holding their own for now. A few times the situation had turned dire when their more vulnerable companions were caught unawares, but with Cullen and Cassandra's vigilant eyes they had managed to divert the enemies attention to themselves just in time.

He had fallen into a familiar rhythm with the Seeker as they flew from one side of the group to the other to make sure they were the more desirable target for the demons. Though few things escaped his notice on the battlefield, his vision only allowed him to see so much - it was a comfort to know whatever his eyes could not detect, Cassandra's would.

There had been barely any time to breath for any of them, relentlessly the screeching demonic figures kept throwing themselves at them. It was a good thing Shayenna had marched each of them through the various lands of Thedas in search of rifts to close to keep the people safe - a familiar enemy meant they all knew how to hit them the hardest and where.

Cullen did notice these demons were not the same as in the valley. Naturally they had had the Chargers and his remaining men by their side, but the ones that roamed there seemed to be of a lower class as the ones assaulting them now.

Suddenly the ground below them started to glow a smoking green, "Move!" Solas yelled loudly as he quickly threw a barrier over them. Mere seconds after the warning a greater terror demon leapt up amidst the group. Despite Solas' cry Cullen had not managed to get away in time and was knocked hard the ground by the monster. Beside him he saw Varric and Sera on the floor as well, eyes large as they stared up at the green skinned creature. Roaring loudly Cullen pushed himself off the cold ground and in a fluid moment regained his footing. He drove his shield into the demon with such force it stopped mid-assault on Sera, stumbling a few steps back. His blade followed only seconds after the shield had hit and slashed the monster deep. It stood amidst the group, stunned by what had just occurred long enough for Iron Bull to swing his axe and decapitate the demon in one fell swoop.

Cullen extended his hand to Sera and hoisted her light frame back on her feet before offering the same help to the dwarf. Before Varric could open his mouth to make some clever joke a loud crackling and tearing sound erupted behind them.

Quickly pulling the dwarf to his feet Cullen moved to where the sound had come from and found Cassandra by his side once more. Before them a large tear revealed a huge monster towering over the two of them. Lightning crackled in the air around it as a deep rumbling laugh erupted from the creature, sending shivers down everyone's spines.

He looked at Cassandra and found the same determined look that shone from his eyes. That thing posed a real threat to them all if left unchecked among all the other demons.

_We have to take it down quick if we are to stand a chance. If Cass and I can keep it away from the group it's attacks won't have reach and it will leave itself prone to ranged attacks._

"Vivienne, Iron Bull - keep the others safe from the small demons. Varric, Sera and Solas - focus your attacks on the pride demon while Cassandra and I keep it busy" He didn't give them any time to argue before he charged forward, side by side with Cassandra. With a fierce battle cry on both their lips they ran at the demon towering over them.

It did not seem to fear them, instead it seemed to be entertained by the prospect of the two toy soldiers that came running at it.

_Maker, though the darkness comes upon me,  
I shall embrace the light. I shall weather the storm.  
I shall endure.  
What you have created, no one can tear asunder._

Cullen put his shoulder against the back of shield, ready to charge into the demon's large leg with all the force he could muster. He knew Cassandra had mirrored him on the other leg and he was hoping it had been enough to get the demon off his legs, but his hope had proved in vain. As it had roared coming out of the Fade it had somehow thrown up defenses that were not easily broken through. It staggered back a step on the leg Cullen had smashed into, but all it had seemed to accomplish was turn the demon's laughter into a growling angry roar.

Furious muscular arms with razor sharp claws started going for Cullen.

_Well at least I managed to thoroughly infuriate it, it should remain focused on me now._

Cassandra in the mean while was unleashing one powerful blow after another on the demon's flank, hoping to quickly wear down its defenses. Dodging and blocking furious blows Cullen quickly felt himself being pushed backwards against a large boulder. As a frightful large claw came at him with impossible speed he only just managed to duck and roll himself out of harm's way. The boulder was left to take the full impact of the blow and instantly shattered to pieces. He lunged himself through the demons legs to come up behind him beside Cassandra, driving his sword into the creature's flesh over and over before it roared loudly in anger once more.

Meanwhile bolts and arrows flew with unmatched power and speed from Sera's bow and Bianca, driving themselves deep into the pride demon's back. Solas was dividing his attention between the demons that kept coming in waves before Bull and Vivienne and the Pride Demon that was raging on the other side of the battlefield. Being the only mage he had his hands full aiding and protecting the others, but it did not seem to take from his calm demeanor.

Cullen felt the air tinge with raw magical power, crackling sounds deafened him as the demon produced two long pure electric whips from its hands. Laughing he whirled around, one of the whips caught Cassandra off guard as it slammed straight into her chest, electric energy surging visibly through her body.

"Cass!" Cullen traced her body with his eyes as it flew several meters across the battlefield, leaving her prone and limp on the ground. It had been a few seconds of panic he could not afford himself as he felt the second whip lash against his shield and then coil around his body.

His arms pinned to the sides of his body he felt the electrical energy surge through his body in agonizing pulses, leaving his fingers numbly clamped around his now useless sword and shield. Another deep rumbling laugh filled his ears as the demon menacingly loomed over him. Triumphantly the demon bent forward as it moved its seven lifeless eyes close to Cullen's face.

"You are mine now little man" the voice low and booming as it echoed around him.

He could hear the arrows hissing past him with a feverish determination to stop the monster, but it seemed unaware of them, shrugging off whatever damage they did to him - completely caught up in its pride over its small victory.

Darkness edged at his vision as his body fought the energy wrecking through his body. The pain and numbness spread slowly until he could no longer force his eyes to be open and stare defiantly at the pride demon. His thoughts wandered to Shayenna, how he had failed her, how he wished he could see her one last time and know she had made it through alright.

A vision of her innocently smiling as she ran into his embrace one day at Skyhold filled his mind and heart with her, it was so real he could almost smell her hair - a delightful mixture of cloves and lavender. He held her tight to his chest, filled with such happiness. Moments ago he had been angry and despaired, but he couldn't remember why as he rested his cheek on Shayenna's head.

Suddenly the once bright blue summer sky turned to a green pulsing heaven, showing the Breach ominously appearing back into the sky. The wind picked up and cold air replaced the once gentle breeze, causing Shayenna to shiver in his arms. But what were shivers at first turned into soft convulsions as he heard her sobbing loudly against his chest.

He pushed her out of his embrace to look upon her face and realized she had been crying terribly for what looked like hours. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks stained with an endless waterfall of tears. And as if in agreement with the lady, the sky ripped open and rain started to pour from the heavens.

He let her go as she fell to her knees and though she was looking up he realized she was no longer looking at him; her eyes were staring _through _him. The bright blue pools that had held such happiness and joy in them what seemed only moments ago were now dark and empty. He could detect nothing in them but pain and despair and he wondered what could have possibly happened to her to have doused the bright flame she carried in her heart.

When she lowered her eyes he noticed for the first time she was clutching the cloth with the red and black fur he always wore. Soaked to the bone she sat there, her long red hair hanging forward in wet strands clung together. She stared at the cloth for what seemed forever. And then he realized... he had failed her, he had given up and abandoned her...

He wanted to hold her, soothe her pains, tell her he was sorry - but something held him frozen in place. All he could do was look upon her broken soul shivering in the cold, witness the devastation he had caused by holding her heart and smashing it to pieces when he had left.

It broke his own heart to see her as such, but when she produced a small dagger from the folds of his cloth he felt a terror that paralyzed him to the bone. She started whispering some words he could not make out as she unsheathed the dagger and lifted it up in the air. Point aimed at her heart her both hands shook violently.

He could see she was still wrecked with sobs, mustering her courage until she leaned her head back, letting the rain fall upon her beautiful face. Serenity took over her features as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Life without you... never" the words rang with serene sadness as she plunged the knife into her chest.

"Shayenna!" For this first time his voice obeyed him as he felt himself suddenly being cast back into darkness. The pulsing pains returned to him, but he was determined to get out his nightmare, determined to make it back and stop her from doing what she did.

_Though all before me is shadow,  
Yet shall the Maker be my guide.  
I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond.  
For there is no darkness in the Maker's Light  
And nothing that He has wrought shall be lost._

When he willed his eyes open again he was face to face with the demon once again. Only seconds had passed, but it had filled him with a determination to cling to life a little longer for her.

"Don't be so sure" Cullen growled at its hideous face as he released a strong pulse of white energy from his body, loosening the whip from around his arms until it completely disappeared in the white light. The demon recoiled from the light, surprised by the former templar's actions.

Weakened but filled with a strength he did not know he possessed he lifted his sword to the heavens and called down a roaring beam of light and fire upon the demon's body. It crashed down upon him with a fury that it could not fight, try as it might to remain standing the beam forced him to his knees before it dissipated.

"Cullen!" He turned around to find Cassandra back on her feet, tossing away an empty vial. Her hand stretched out to him she ran forward. He knew what she wanted and he steadied himself on the ground as he reached out for her. The moment their grips tightened he used her momentum and his remaining strength to hurl her up on the creature's massive shoulders before falling to one knee. She gained a foothold quickly and plunged her blade deep into the demon's skull, blood spattering violently against her armor as she did so. Lifeless the body fell to the floor with a loud crash.

Pulling her sword out of its head Cassandra jumped off and walked over to Cullen, breathlessly leaning on one knee. She quickly produced another flask with bright red liquid and handed it to him and she knelt down.

"Well done Commander, I was sure we were done for then. That was a true display of strength and faith."

Cullen drank the potion greedily and immediately felt the strength return to his muscles and the fresh air to his lungs - ready to continue onwards - for her - ever onwards.

The battle raged on, not giving them a moments break from the never-ending stream of demons that broke free from the rifts. More opened sporadically, letting more and more demons through, but luckily for them there were no more signs of pride demons. Without Shayenna present they had no hope to stem the demonic flow from the rifts - all they could do was hold out until she came through for them.


End file.
